God Chisels

A shocking revelation turned my queries into definite answers.  God answered them for me.

Photo credits to www.spiritlessons.com

It was barely two weeks when I experienced a loss, or to be more precise, a failure.  I was used to winning and achieving what I want.  My numerous triumphs in various areas in my life led me into believing that I am favored by God.  I continued dreaming.  My friends and acquaintances look up to me.  They regard me as someone atop them; someone so blessed and fortunate to have the kind of life that I am living right now; but amidst all these, I remained humble. 

However, there is this part of me that should be chiseled.  Unknown to me, I have this egocentric me, selfish me, fame-hungry me.  I didn’t know I have these, until God allowed me to experience failures and disappointments that were supposed to teach me things that I shouldn’t have taken for granted.  Deliberately, I’ve changed. 

People say that the real you will only be seen as you experience a crisis in your life; something tragic, mind-blowing, and totally upsetting.  That holds true to me.  In the midst of my joy, I clearly see God as a generous, loving Father.  But it just changed.  Doubt engulfed me when I learned about my failed test.  Pain consumed my heart.  Shame took away my joy.  I doubted Him for not granting my desire.  I asked, “Why not? When?” I was smashed into pieces and accused him of hurting me.  My pride took my joy for that shame slowly creeping into my being.  I didn’t trust him; I turned into questioning him instead even if I know I didn’t have the least right to do it.

The slow process of my healing started a day after I learned of that bad news.  It was a painstaking experience for I was still hurting.  My heart still nurtured the twinge, but bravely faced it as reality kicked off in front of me.  I had to swallow my pride as hard as I could.  When I feel like blurting out my madness, I had to fight against myself to restore the good in me.

Two weeks have passed and am completely changed. And it was only when I heard this line from God through the words of Bro. Arun Gogna.

“God values your character more than your comfort.”

Stupefying! He could have let me pass; He could have granted all my heart’s desires; He could have given me everything in an instant, but He didn’t.  He knew the consequences.  He knew my line of thoughts.  He knew it’s not for me, or rather, it isn’t the right time for me to achieve it.  Distinctly, He was asking me to be patient, to be humble, and to learn to dream without any personal biases. 

God values my character more than my comfort.  He makes sure that I grow mature, that I go out secured, and that I become a good shepherd to those whose path I’ll come across.  And with this I am thankful.  I might have experienced a drawback, but He’ll soon replace it with successes.  He is my oasis in the desert; He is my dawn after the darkness; He is my Creator and He made an incredibly great person in me.